…… or what I really meant to say

One of the things I like best about today’s phones is the fact that they allow you to text people instead of having to call them. Late for dinner? Just send a text to let the host know you will be there in 5 minutes. Shot a great picture of your son during a tennis match? Simply attach the photo to your message and friends and family can enjoy it too.

To ensure that your message is free of typos and to guarantee a grammatically correct verbiage, the auto correct feature has been developed. And it is exactly that feature that sometimes just does the opposite of correcting: It turns a simple message into a life-changing event. Need proof? Here we go:

A father texted his daughter:
“Your Mom and I are going to divorce next month.
“Sorry, I meant we are going to Disney.”

A young men wrote to his friend:
“I walked her home and then I killed her right under the tree.”
“You did what???”
“Sorry, I meant, I kissed her under the tree.”

And what would you make out of this:

“I’m in bed an it feels there is an immigrant on my chest and throat, so hard to breathe.”
I don’t know about exact sizes and weights of immigrants in this country but in this case the person meant to text “elephant”.

If an adult texts you “Sorry, I was teething” do you immediately figure out that he actually meant “tweeting”?

Even simple holiday pleasures can cause concerns with the recipients:
“Went to France. It was great. We did wine tours and I won a case of women”.
Although France is known for delicious food and great wine the French most probably wouldn’t sell their women in boxes. The author of this message is referring to “boxes of wine.”

Need a last one for the records?

“So thankful. My parrots watched the kids last night”.
No one will ever deny that animals have instincts, skills and talents we never thought they have but a babysitting bird is rather rare. So let’s pay tribute to the parents, of course.